We all dream of it – a smooth-running relationship with no arguments and constantly feeling secure. However, these types of fairy-tale are often impossible to achieve without both partners putting a bit of effort in.
Although your happiness shouldn’t be completely dependent on your partner, a bad relationship that is suffering from bickering, arguments and conflict can put a strain on all aspects of your life, including your work and even relationships with friends.
We’ve shared the eight relationship mistakes that often set up a relationship for failure, and learn how to combat the common pitfalls that modern-day couples need to avoid to achieve a healthy and happy relationship.
1. Don’t choose a bad location for a first date
You want to get to know more about the potential partner before you waste time meeting up with them again if they are incompatible…. So, choose your first date location carefully. A cinema – where hopefully everyone is quiet! – would not be a good idea, neither is a noisy bar as you don’t want to spend the entire date saying “what?” and “sorry?”.
A good location would be a coffee shop as a cup of coffee is long enough to decide whether to have another and meet up again (or to get out of there as quick as possible!).
2. Avoid social media overload!
Avoid use of #annoying #hashtags when it comes to sharing picture of your other half on social media. Announcing your relationship to the world on social media is fine, but remember that if you split up, you’ll have egg on your face when you have bombarded your friends or followers with constant daily photographic updates of #forkeeps #lovehim #4eva.
Not to mention, it can also be a major pet peeve for people following your profile!
3. Don’t be desperate
No one wants to look like the ‘needy’ one in a relationship. Whines of “Ohhh, I’ll be on my own if you go out with your friends tonight” is never a good thing to say. Everyone needs their own space. You don’t want to abandon your mates for your other half – and if you do fall into that fatal trap, don’t expect them to come running when it all goes flat.
4. Don’t play on weaknesses
If you constantly bring up things that bug you or things they’ve done wrong, then they’ll never be motivation to do things right! Wait for a calm time to bring up things that have annoyed you, rather than hollering at your partner as soon as they get in from a hard day’s work.
Mention things you’d like to improve by taking a positive approach, eg. Thanks for picking me up from work so I didn’t have the train home; next time could you offer instead of me asking?
5. Don’t talk badly of exes
This is a major no-no as it suggests major insecurity and lack of self-confidence. There’s nothing worse than hearing a list of “urgh look at her/his…”.
Not only is it boring to listen to, it reeks of insane jealousy, which no one wants in a relationship. The last thing your new partner wants to hear about is your ex and all their faults, so keep that gossip for your friends.
Remember – positive thinking is proven to improve your relationship!
6. Don’t expect your partner to pay for everything
Gone are the days of the man paying for everything. In fact, you’re more likely to send him over the edge when he realises how expensive you are to keep! Be fair and if you can’t afford to spoil them, offer to go halves.
Relationships succeed when both partners are treated equally, so offering to split the bill can help to keep this balance.
7. Don’t overanalyse
We’ve all been there – they haven’t text you after work and they said they would. Maybe they felt ill and got in the bath? Had an emergency? Stopped by with friends after work?
Give them the benefit of the doubt and don’t be awkward about it. Too much harassment on the “Where were you?”, “Why didn’t you text me back?” front will send your partner bonkers.
Equally, don’t spend hours driving yourself insane over the tone of a text. When you can’t hear a voice, it can be easy to miss sarcasm in a text or take them entirely the wrong way. Solve this by ringing rather than having long text conversations!
8. Plan carefully!
Some people love romantic, over-the-top gestures – and some will run miles. And it may be hard to recognise which category your partner falls into straight away. Bunches of flowers at work can raise a suspecting eyebrow.
Don’t overwhelm your partner with plans for babies after a month of dating. Marriage and proposals can wait too. Just spend some quality time getting to know the person before putting unnecessary pressure on your partner.
As you can see, there are several tips that can be used to better your relationship. Which tip is most important to you?