
Sami Wunder is a relationship coach whose company has served more than 3,000 clients worldwide. This article will share pointers for first dates, providing conversational tips and helping daters to avoid common pitfalls.
According to Sami Wunder, a first date has two primary goals:
- Testing for resonance
- Securing a second date
By instinct, we tend to think of first dates as an opportunity to assess compatibility. However, gauging compatibility is a complicated process that would be impossible to achieve in just an hour or two. To see whether they are really on the same wavelength and assess long-term potential, a couple must spend more time together. Daters should therefore focus on basic resonance, assessing whether they have similar values and goals and the potential to have interesting conversations together. Feeling good and safe, and experiencing positive emotions in the presence of your date, are also indicative of resonance.
Once you have identified that resonance is there, you must decide whether you want to see your date again. You can increase your chances of securing a second date by ensuring that the first date is a positive experience on both sides. This is achieved by focusing on certain topics and avoiding others.
While much of the love coaching industry perpetuates the myth that discussing past loves is part and parcel of being vulnerable and open, in reality, the first date is not the time to start sharing intimate details about past relationships. It is just too early to open up about such sensitive topics and give trust to someone you barely know. As Sami Wunder highlights to clients, trust and transparency must be earned, and this is not going to happen on a first date. In addition, reflecting on past relationships can spoil the mood. Exes are simply not a positive topic to bring up.
On a first date, conversation should be light and fun. Rather than talking about work, daters should focus on sharing intriguing experiences and stories that show something about them to their companion. For example, highlighting a love of nature, food or art can help an individual to stand out.
One common dating pitfall is slipping into interview mode. While a dater may be weighing up their companion’s potential as a future spouse, firing off a barrage of questions will destroy any positive vibes, leaving their companion feeling pressured. That said, while we tend to think of marriage and children as topics best avoided on a first date, by maintaining a light, relaxed energy, the enquirer can gain the information they need, helping them to assess whether their companion shares important life goals. While many dating coaches advocate against touching on such topics, in reality, emotionally healthy, empowered men appreciate women who know what they want.
To increase the likelihood of a second date, in addition to maintaining a positive energy, it is important to keep the date short, leaving when the time is right. As a general rule, an hour to an hour and a half is an appropriate timeframe for a first date, providing ample opportunity to assess resonance, potential and a positive vibe.
For women, amplifying feminine energy is particularly important in dating. The number one way to achieve this is to stop trying to control the relationship, allowing the man to take the lead and initiate contact.
To discover how Sami Wunder has made a positive impact on her clients’ love lives, read some of their reviews.