I’ve never been the most confident person in the room. I’ve never been the centre of attention and the kind of person that will talk your arm off when I meet you. And the truth is, I probably never will be.
It’s okay to be shy, and it’s only in the past few years that I’ve realised that it isn’t always a bad thing. Being shy can have its own benefits, like seeming more approachable and coming across as more trust-worthy – but it can be detrimental when it coincides with a lack of self-confidence and assurance.
Feeling self-confident comes down to more than shyness, and it’s extremely important to learn to be comfortable in your own skin. However, it can be a struggle to initially start your path; never mind become fully confident in yourself.
If you’re in a similar situation, here’s how to boost your self-confidence and improve your self-esteem:
1. Think Positively
As hard as it may sound, thinking positively is the ultimate key for building self-confidence. If you don’t think that you feel good; how can you actually feel it?
One thing that I do every day that has slowly built my confidence is to tell myself one thing that I’m happy or grateful for at the end of each day. By doing this, it avoids me dwelling on the negative parts of what’s gone wrong and focus on the good things.
Not only can this help your self-confidence in areas such as your career if you’re grateful that you managed to pull-off a successful project, but it can also help with self-confidence related to your appearance.
Do your eyebrows look good today? Perhaps you’ve got a new dress that shows off your favourite features… Whatever it is, learning to notice the positive things as opposed to negatives help improve the confidence you have within yourself.
2. Change Your Body Language
Your posture and body language not only have an impact on the people you’re surrounding yourself with, but also internally yourself.
Self-confidence often begins with changing your body language. Feeling anxious when meeting a new person? Give them eye contact instead of staring at the floor. Along with making the other person believe that you’re interested in the conversation, it shows to them you’re a confident person – even if you’re not.
This point can lean towards the ‘fake it until you make it’ quote – which FYI, I’ve lived by for the past year and it’s made a huge difference!
3. Look & Dress for Yourself
When it comes to insecurities and a lack of self-confidence surrounding your appearance, the only way that you can feel your best self is to make yourself feel it. That means wearing the clothes you want and doing your makeup how you like it best.
Do you have a gorgeous t-shirt that shows off your arms? Perhaps you’ve got some new shoes that make you feel like a model; whatever it is, dressing for yourself instantly boosts your self-confidence. How can you not feel amazing when you’re wearing your favourite clothes?
4. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Because a lack of self-confidence often manifests itself in shyness (or even anxiety), it’s common for people suffering to stay well in the realms of their comfort zone. As a result, you aren’t being exposed to new environments and facing new challenges.
Your self-confidence is massively impacted by the experiences you face. Let’s say you’re struggling meeting new people and as a result, sit at home and don’t socialise. This affects your confidence with other people, which can make you feel self-conscious about interacting with others.
In order to boost your self-confidence in such situations, you need to try them – and do it frequently. Offer to help your boss with one of their meetings, or start up a conversation with the person sat next to you on the train. Sure, it’s super scary at first but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.